A person should not believe in an "ism"……

To quote the illustrious Ferris Bueller,

“A person should not believe in an “-ism,”
he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon,
“I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.”

At the moment I am exhausterered. Thats about 2 more vowels than just regular exhausted. Of course its Saturday, the day one should spending resting, practising for Sunday, the day of rest. But no, I struggled out of bed at 6am, went for a run (it was more like 20 minutes of jogging muttering ‘you’re an idiot, you’re an idiot, you’re an idiot’) and then after eating brekkie…started studying.

The graduate program is starting to turn into survival of the fittest. Never before have I exhibited SUCH determination not to be eaten (or fail rather). I am determined not to be the antelope. Of course I’m not actually going to get eaten but will fall behind if I fail these exams and we already have a massive assignment that will start taking up a lot of my time soon.
So I spent a glorious day today, inside getting friendly with ‘Taxation of Trusts’. The good thing is I did learn a tiny bit and I’m feeling slightly less panicky about the exam on Thursday. Slightly less panicky.

As usual, no-one else is stressed, no-one else is worried and I would bet our apartment no-one else studied today. I could have done that. I could have gone ‘new towel rail shopping’ and pizza eating with the man and fellow housemate Cam. But on Thursday when I failed the exam instead of being able to say to myself ‘oh well, you did your best’, I would have failed with the knowledge that I hadn’t done my best. And as a very wise man always says, that’s all you can do.

I could still fail. Trusts is a tricky topic and I have two other exams that day as well (Sunday will be spent meeting a new friend call The Imputation System). But at least I know I tried.

– Jen

p.s. Cue inspirational music……now.

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