The grossest thing that has ever happened to me as a parent (so far)

grossest

Babies are revolting. Sure, they are sold as these sweet smelling newborns but really…especially eight months on – they’re revolting. Especially boys. Boys are gross.

So in eight months I’ve been puked on – regularly. As a mother of a reflux baby I am actually USED to getting vomited on. Projectile, chunky, warm, dribbles – I’ve had it all. And I’m okay with that.

I’ve cleaned up lots of poo too, a few number threes and a few really big poos which made me wonder how such a small baby MAKES something so big.

But what happened this week has trumped all the spew and grossness of the past eight months.

I actually asked people on Facebook what was the grossest thing their baby had done and most of the comments involved poo.

And so does my story.

Our story takes place in the bath. And yes I know, some of your stories involve poo in the bath.

This poo however was not one or two nicely formed…logs floating around (or sinking depending on the diet of your little one).

Nope! This poo was large in volume, and well …runny.

Oh that’s disgusting you say! Disgusting!! How can you bear to write about such disgustingness!

……

It gets better.

On this particular occasion Angus had a friend in the bath. A good friend. The very best friend a baby boy can have. That’s right.

His mother.

Yes, it was I who was in the bath when little man decided to ‘release the hounds’ so to speak.

Oh the screaming (from me).

The bath toys and I will be scarred forever.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

– Jen

 

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13 Responses to The grossest thing that has ever happened to me as a parent (so far)

  1. Cam Simpson says:

    TBH Jen, I think a “shart” to the face beats this. Okay, that hasn’t happened to me, but I was struck directly in the stomach (shirt took the brunt) when changing a nappy once. She sneezed, and that was it. When I woke up, she had change herself and was grabbing the keys to the car….

  2. theveggiemama says:

    haha at least you were in the right place to be shat on!

  3. Haha! I wrote about poo in the bath a little while ago on my blog. It’s gross hey?

  4. lybliss says:

    LOL a two year old vomiting on my face and feeling it drip down to puddle in my bra would have to be my lowest point. Yep, I do not need to experience that again **shudder**

  5. mummywifeme says:

    Oh my God! That is not cool. Not cool at all. And unlucky. Oh so unlucky 😦

  6. laurenm83 says:

    I’m so sorry, but that made me laugh out loud 🙂 You poor thing! I think the grossest thing that has happened to me to date was a few months ago when I realised I’d been walking around the supermarket/shops all morning with poo smeared on my leg – ewww

  7. OMG, I’m sorry for laughing. I can imagine how horrifying it would have been at the time though. I am yet to experience a bath time code brown and I am worrying that after 2.5 years of kid-wrangling that it’s only a matter of time. I just pray to God that Dave is home when it happens so I don’t have to deal with it!

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